Joseph Steel Goes to the Zoo

I looked Joseph Steel right in the eyes and said to him, “That is definitely illegal”.

My name is Nara Tore. I am Joseph’s girlfriend. I took Joseph to the zoo today.

Joseph didn’t blink, and replied back to me, “It’s also illegal for the gorillas to be out of their cages here, so what are you doing walking around on the people sidewalk?”

Joseph was metaphorically referencing my weight and appearance to that of a large ape. All offense asside, he did have a point. I love cake.

“Shut up. I’m talking about the large amounts of coccaine that you are snorting. Not only is that illegal, it also isn’t very good for your health.”

By this point Joseph was gone to a land of euporia and self-created illusions, much like Children’s Cove, an area here at the zoo full of winding trees and twisting slides among other play structures.

“Nara! Don’t move… there is Stegasaurus behind you. It wants to harvest your organs for its young. When I count to three, I want you to run.”

“Joseph, you are not making any sense. I’m going home.”

“Nara, You are the voice of reason and you also have a weight problem. None of this matters to me. I still love you. Nara Tore, will you marry me?”

I thought to myself, “What the hell is wrong with you?” then I said out loud, “What the hell is wrong with you?” By this point Joseph was drooling all over himself. The doctors say he had a mild seizure, which also would explain why he had soiled himself right before his heart stopped and he died.

I have a new boyfriend now. He is allergic to animals so we never go to the zoo. He’s even allergic to goldfish.

The End