Spring Break

Starts now.

I am hiring employees to keep Creamfilled updated with the latest technological fads while I am gone. If you are interested, here is the Creamfilled Employee Handbook:

THE CREAMFILLED HANDBOOK

Welcome.

A Cream-Filled Blog^TM

Creamfilledblog.blogspot.com

CHAPTER 1 – Hi.

So you’re a Creamfilled employee now. Think you got what it takes? Well, most likely you don’t, unless you are either a wizard or Jesus. But you’re not. So leave.

Are you still here? Good. That was a test. If you are still reading this you passed. You need a certain level of commitment if you are going to work for Creamfilled.

At Creamfilled, we like our crust cut off and removed from the rest of the sandwich. Will you remove that crust for us? If not, you are fired.

We also like to change our fonts from time to time. Got a problem with that? You’re fired.

So anyways, hi. And welcome aboard the S.S.Creamfilled.

CHAPTER 2 – Don’t be a douche.

Seriously. I mean it.

Relations between coworkers should be similar to that of a female Black Widow spider and her mate, where immediately following the mating process, the female consumes the male as food.

What did you want to be when you grew up? I don’t care. You work for me, now.

This handbook doesn’t even make sense.

CHAPTER 3 – Payment.

You will be paid monthly in the form of drawings I made of hamsters. Most of the hamsters will have swords, and will be fighting in castles.

You will get 60% more hamsters for every hour of overtime you work, and double the hamsters every hour overtime you work on a holiday.

If you are not satisfied with your payment, see chapter 2.

This concludes The Creamfilled Handbook. Now get out there and do something. I’m not really sure what it is we do, but as long as you do something, I will be happy. It doesn’t even have to be related to Creamfilled. If you participate in a carwash to help raise money to fund the boosters program of a local high school girls soccer team, that counts as something. And I will be happy.

And now it is time for me to go to LA for spring break, where I will turn in my screenplay about a High School janitor who sells drugs to the students, has an affair with the lunch lady, is caught peeping in the girl's locker room, is fired, and then goes blind and plays the cello beautifully and becomes world famous for his talent. Welcome to Hollywood.

P.S. Here is your signing bonus: