Conversations

Before you read this, grab a friend. You will each play a role, and read the lines according to what role you are. Put a lot of emphasis on accents and tones. It is much more fun that way.

Do you have your friend? Are you ready? Okay, here we go:

Snake and Snake Charmer -

Snake: (Nodding head) I like this. What is this?
Snake Charmer: It's called Dum Digga Dum Diddidy Doo, by me and a wooden flute.
Snake: It's catchy. I must look like a silly teenage girl at the club right now.
Snake Charmer: No. You look fine. Don't be so self-conscious. Just be yourself, and feel the rhythm.

Pirate and Girl Scout -

Pirate: A'hoy!
Girl Scout: Would you like to buy some cookies?
Pirate: Chips ahoy!
Girl Scout: No. Girl Scout cookies. Dumbass.

Old man and his breakfast -

Old man: Mm mm mm. Well don't you just look delicious.
Breakfast: ...
Old man: What should I eat first?
Bacon: The eggs!
Eggs: You're such a dick.

Niagra Falls and a boat -

Niagra Falls: Hey there.
Boat: Oh, hi. How are you today?
Niagra Falls: I'm doing fine. You new around here?
Boat: Yeah. Just moved in. Checking out the sites.
Niagra Falls: That's cool. Okay, well... I'm about to fuck your day up.

Horse and Lunch Lady -

Horse: Hey, I'll have hay.
Lunch Lady: Hey, here's your hay.

Arm pits and nipples -

Arm Pit 1: Hey there baby. What shaking?
Nipple 1: Oh god, you're such a pig. Laverne, help me out here.
Nipple 2 (Laverne): Sorry Kathey, but I am having some problems of my own.
Arm Pit 2: Problems? Nah sweet thing, you and me have no problems. What do you say to a double date?

If you like these and want more, let me know. I wrote all of these while watching the first 10 minutes of an episode of Desperate Housewives.

I am also open to suggestions. If you would like two particular things/people/whatevers to have a conversation, send the idea to djButtaSkotch@gmail.com.

P.S.

Photo by Allie from Hyperbole and a Half, who made this just for me because we are best friends.